On Yahoo Answers yesterday (post since deleted) there was a sister asking a question about her ex-husband who performed Islamic marriage and then divorced presumably here in USA. Together they had three children which he is listed as the father of all three children on their birth certificates. Yet he is not paying child support and her feeling/question was because she can afford to provide for them by her own income sufficiently, that his outright unwillingness to pay child support may be okay. However her friends and family do not see it that way and urge her that it is her right, confused she asked others opinions.

The father does visit his young children and buys them cheap trinkets from time to time but is delinquent on his child support payments which are mandated by the US Courts she said in her long post. Caught between the feelings he might disappear to choose to not see his kids in order NOT to have to pay child support or he is in his kids’ lives and not force him to pay child support. She went on to say her children so young unable to comprehend the fact that, “Mommy and Daddy live apart.” She referred to her ex in all respects as a, “Dead beat Dad.”

In Islam we know his actions are very haram (forbidden). Any father that has children is expected to find work even if not in his field of expertise to provide for his own kids. He may be a Taxi Driver by trade, but  if unemployed he should find a job shoveling cow manure, pick up cans to recycle in order to provide.

In explaining this situation to my husband he shared with me information which how I could reply back to her in a way that would be helpful to all women in this type of situation. Idea’s I had never heard anyone speak about! Ideas that could help many in this situation!

In Islam, it is REQUIRED that the father support his children. If he has no job, he HAS to get any job to support his children. What can a sister like this do? What would you do? She went through her own court to system to ensure he would make monthly payments but at some point he stopped paying which is unlawful; he could face arrest and fines right here in USA. She could easily have him tracked down. Many Muslims in America may be hired under the table and so report that they receive "no wages" so as to get out of paying.  Which again is illegal, but this is what many may claim.

My husband explained to me ways in which are prevalent in nearly 80% of all Middle Eastern Countries and this is that if she can prove she had an Islamic marriage (via a signed document) between her and her husband not just a civil marriage that she can take this paper, fly to his country, go to court (In Egypt called Court Al Faisal= family court) where there is a speedy process where his government will pay her child support and spousal support . Subhan Allah! Someday when he decides to return to his country he will be caught by the police to report to him, “You have a child support and spousal loan to repay us back.” He will be shocked and maybe try to deny it but the case has already been through court process (unknown to him) so his stories will go unheard. He will then have to pay all that his government paid to her, or he would face being jailed for many years and still would have to repay this debt! Subhan Allah!

It’s amazing that how much the women are protected in these countries. For all the garbage fed to us that they "harm women" or "unfair to women" when there are laws set in place to ensure your kids will have proper support and you do not need to struggle if you just knew your rights! Probably the only hardship would be to travel to his country while someone took care of your children but usually family and friends can help in this regard.  And you might even receive these as reimbursements from the courts.

Before you hop on a plane; contact the family court in your husband’s respective country before you fork over the money for an airline ticket and contact a lawyer familiar with family law in his respective country.

Written by and courtesy of Habibi Matrimonials