IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum This is an XML content feed of; IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Family Matter : DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:52:59 +0000 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 15:28:45 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 8.04 360 www.IslamiCity.com/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=23859 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_images/ICForum_Logo.gif http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : Originally posted by anizamiYou... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=171957#171957 Author: Idil
Subject: 23859
Posted: 25 December 2012 at 3:28pm

Originally posted by anizami

You may want to read this article : Rights of Parents & Children in Islam
http://www.muslimparentsnetwork.org/rights-of-parents-children-in-islam/

I hope it helps with how you may want to think about responding.


Thanks for taking the time to respond, but to me I don`t see any wrong in the way that I am responding. This is a website whereby everyone can freely express how the feel and unload the stress that daily life brings.
]]> Tue, 25 Dec 2012 15:28:45 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=171957#171957 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : You may want to read this article... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=170160#170160 Author: anizami
Subject: 23859
Posted: 15 November 2012 at 8:14am

You may want to read this article : Rights of Parents & Children in Islam
http://www.muslimparentsnetwork.org/rights-of-parents-children-in-islam/

I hope it helps with how you may want to think about responding.]]> Thu, 15 Nov 2012 08:14:57 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=170160#170160 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : Originally posted by nothing Originally... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167755#167755 Author: Idil
Subject: 23859
Posted: 15 September 2012 at 10:30am

Originally posted by nothing

Originally posted by Idil

Me and my sisters did a lot for our parents from a young age and till today they expect us to be there for them both physically and financially.

Alaikum Salaam.

I am not good with the laws sister, any laws, so I will contribute from my view, base on my experiences. Some people just don't know what they have until it's not there. You heard the saying: "I can't lose what I never had"?.

You know, divorce is hateful action in the site of God but it is allow to happen, because there is a reason for it. Separation in many cases is really a necessity even a temporary one. Human logic and expertise in playing with the laws need to put on hold sometimes, by giving ample time to be alone, to be without someone that used to be there - for granted.

When I was with my parent I never like home it was so crowded, so my greatest wish was to leave the house and have my own home. But something came up unexpectedly that forced me to walk away, just like that. I was 16 that time which was a kid in that era. And to make it worse my father had very high expectation of me. But someone saw me wondering around in different city, and three weeks later my oldest brother took me home. And you know from then on,  they never look at me the same way again. I was someone who was reluctant to be there.

I leave it to you to work it out as you are in different position. But the universal solution is always the same.

Salaam and hoping the best for you.

Asalamu calykum,

Thanks for sharing your story with us and your input. Hope you all goes well with you and your family, and always remember to focus on the positive, this is also a reminder for myself.
]]> Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:30:54 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167755#167755 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : Originally posted by ladyWalaakumAssalaam... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167754#167754 Author: Idil
Subject: 23859
Posted: 15 September 2012 at 10:28am

Originally posted by lady

WalaakumAssalaam sister.
1. Did you talk kindly to your mother about your feelings? 
2.  can you give me an example of how they are strict about making sure that you and your sister give them their right? 
3.  When you do things for them is it done for the sake of Allah only?
Sister you said that your mother took care of you when you were young.  I am assuming that you do not acknowledge that she is still taking care of you now.  For example, she is your mother, and I am sure that she prays for the best for you.  She makes dua for you alot, and she loves you deeply.  There are few people who will think of you like this and love you like this except from your parents.  If she does this then she is really taking great care of you.  Smile
4.  Do you compare how your parents treat you to the parents of your friends? 
 

Asalamu calykum,

Thanks for your kind and sincere advice, know that it is much appreciated. I totally understand where you are coming from and thanks for having reminded me that my mother is still taking care of me. Sometimes when we grow older we forget that our parents are still actually taking care of us, even though we are doing much more for them, which of course they deserve and are entitled to. Alhamdulaah, everything is kind of sorted now with my mother, we have been able to talk things through. I have now accepted the fact that me and my sisters will always do more for our parents and I should actually see this as a blessing as ALLAH will reward me for it in the hereafter.


Edited by Idil - 18 September 2012 at 1:27pm]]> Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:28:46 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167754#167754 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : Originally posted by IdilMe... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167717#167717 Author: nothing
Subject: 23859
Posted: 14 September 2012 at 8:46pm

Originally posted by Idil

Me and my sisters did a lot for our parents from a young age and till today they expect us to be there for them both physically and financially.

Alaikum Salaam.

I am not good with the laws sister, any laws, so I will contribute from my view, base on my experiences. Some people just don't know what they have until it's not there. You heard the saying: "I can't lose what I never had"?.

You know, divorce is hateful action in the site of God but it is allow to happen, because there is a reason for it. Separation in many cases is really a necessity even a temporary one. Human logic and expertise in playing with the laws need to put on hold sometimes, by giving ample time to be alone, to be without someone that used to be there - for granted.

When I was with my parent I never like home it was so crowded, so my greatest wish was to leave the house and have my own home. But something came up unexpectedly that forced me to walk away, just like that. I was 16 that time which was a kid in that era. And to make it worse my father had very high expectation of me. But someone saw me wondering around in different city, and three weeks later my oldest brother took me home. And you know from then on,  they never look at me the same way again. I was someone who was reluctant to be there.

I leave it to you to work it out as you are in different position. But the universal solution is always the same.

Salaam and hoping the best for you.
]]> Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:46:29 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167717#167717 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : WalaakumAssalaam sister. 1. Did... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167694#167694 Author: lady
Subject: 23859
Posted: 14 September 2012 at 4:32am

WalaakumAssalaam sister.
1. Did you talk kindly to your mother about your feelings? 
2.  can you give me an example of how they are strict about making sure that you and your sister give them their right? 
3.  When you do things for them is it done for the sake of Allah only?
Sister you said that your mother took care of you when you were young.  I am assuming that you do not acknowledge that she is still taking care of you now.  For example, she is your mother, and I am sure that she prays for the best for you.  She makes dua for you alot, and she loves you deeply.  There are few people who will think of you like this and love you like this except from your parents.  If she does this then she is really taking great care of you.  Smile
4.  Do you compare how your parents treat you to the parents of your friends? 
 
]]> Fri, 14 Sep 2012 04:32:57 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167694#167694 DeaIing with Difficult Mothers. : Asalamu Calykum all,I am sure... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167605#167605 Author: Idil
Subject: 23859
Posted: 12 September 2012 at 3:32pm

Asalamu Calykum all,

I am sure that this is a topic which many of us have experienced at some stage of our  life and for this reason think we can sincerely advice each other on this topic, hence the reason why I have started this post. Hope many of you will participate and I am particularly interested in the view points and advice from my sisters as is the case that in many cultures sisters are expected more off.

So here is my situation.  Lately I am having great problems with my mother.  The problem mainly stems from her unjustness  in raising us. In particular I was raised in a household whereby a lot was expected from us girls. Me and my sister basically took charge of the household chores from a young age, all whilst pursuing education and living the general teenage life. I feel that mothers in many cultures are very unfair towards the treatment that they give their daughters. Me and my sisters did a lot for our parents from a young age and till today they expect us to be there for them both physically and financially. I have no problem in being there for them as they have raised me when I was young. My problem with them however, is the fact that they expect  too much from me and my sister and are more strict towards us, in terms of me and my sister not giving them their rights. The problem is the greatest with my mother because she only focus on the short comings of her daughters and seems not to even give thought to how negligent her sons are and how they are never there for them both physically and financially. I find this treatment very unfair and to be honest It is making me more disobedient towards my mother which of course I am not happy about as I know that paradise lies under the feet of our mothers.  Given that our religion is based on giving each other sincere advice I look forward to your input on this issue and jazakalah khair already in advance.  Don`t you all though think it is time that parents dropped their double standards?
]]> Wed, 12 Sep 2012 15:32:55 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23859&PID=167605#167605