IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Marrying a divorced woman http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum This is an XML content feed of; IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Groups – Men (Brothers) : Marrying a divorced woman Tue, 21 May 2013 05:06:12 +0000 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:32:41 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 8.04 360 www.IslamiCity.com/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=17478 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_images/ICForum_Logo.gif http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum Marrying a divorced woman : Salam AlikumI am a new Muslim,... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=172117#172117 Author: Mruben
Subject: 17478
Posted: 30 December 2012 at 1:32am

Salam Alikum

I am a new Muslim, i like to know the ruling of marriage a divorce Sister, i need to ask the hand from her father or i just need to inform them i will marry with is daughter?
I like to have some advice if is possible.
 


Edited by Mruben - 30 December 2012 at 1:33am]]> Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:32:41 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=172117#172117 Marrying a divorced woman : Asalaam alaikum, I am a Muslim... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=172066#172066 Author: alia777
Subject: 17478
Posted: 28 December 2012 at 4:20pm

Asalaam alaikum,

I am a Muslim sister who was divorced 6 weeks ago. My ex-husband and I divorced because we simply couldn't get along. We were together 7 years but we couldn't make it work. We had no support networks and in the end we both regretted the decision but it was too late.

It causes me pain when I read people advising the OP to beware of this divorcee who he is interested in marrying. Who can guarantee the behaviour of any prospective spouse?

I understand the sensitivity of the situation but life is not always black and white and it would be an injustice to view all divorcees as people of suspicion.]]> Fri, 28 Dec 2012 16:20:47 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=172066#172066 Marrying a divorced woman : By looking at your problem i may... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=170181#170181 Author: doherty12
Subject: 17478
Posted: 16 November 2012 at 12:52am

By looking at your problem i may advice you to listen to your heart. If you know that women very well or if you have got a feelings for her then you can proceed to marry her. But in case you are marrying her in a hurry then you must think twice before going for it.]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 00:52:07 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=170181#170181 Marrying a divorced woman : As a person who has undergone... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=157525#157525 Author: Fearfull
Subject: 17478
Posted: 05 August 2011 at 11:34am

As a person who has undergone divorce, I tell you be very careful. Divorce is one of the most painful experiences. If a man is ready to divorce a woman then it is an extreme step.
Be wary why such a step was needed. Most couple will adjust and move on. If such a step was taken, then it was not done in the heat of the moment. It was well thought out and very painfil decision.
Your parents are not trying to do bad things for you. They realize that part of the reason for you wanting to marry this girl is the compassion you feel towards her and her condition.
 
Dont let sympathy govern your decision.  My recommendation is to let the matter sleep for a few days while you pray to Allah for clarity and may He provide you that.
]]> Fri, 05 Aug 2011 11:34:25 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=157525#157525 Marrying a divorced woman : Dear Sister Nausheen, I would... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147689#147689 Author: fais
Subject: 17478
Posted: 01 November 2010 at 8:18am

Dear Sister Nausheen,

I would advice in marriage make your own mistakes, dont let your parents do that for you.

The above statement could convey a  wrong message,when u say u make your own decision it could be misunderstood by some,and they might think you should contact the propective personally and make friendship kind of thing and then decide.which is not Islamic,this is very dangerous for girls specially.
 
You never pay for somelse mistake,its your destiny,we have rules to select your partner in islam and once you have followed just leave it to allah.no body can predict how the prospect will be, even after a deep loving affair before marraige people feel they made a mistake marrying the one they loved.
 
If the daughter is trusting her father there for her best interest it is no harm,this also an ibdah that you obeying your fathers decision.
 
Salam
Faisal


Edited by fais - 01 November 2010 at 8:21am]]> Mon, 01 Nov 2010 08:18:18 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147689#147689 Marrying a divorced woman : I think marriage is the most important... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147687#147687 Author: Nausheen
Subject: 17478
Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:43am

I think marriage is the most important decision of ones life.
 
If you land in a wrong marriage - ie married to a wrong person, the last think you'd want that it be someone elses mistake 'done to you' - ie a scenario in which parents end their kids in a wrong marriage.
 
I would advice in marriage make your own mistakes, dont let your parents do that for you!
 
That having been said, its your life, thus you should get the preroragative to choose, from your heart.  If you like this girl, for all genuine reasons, you may go ahead. As far as convincing the parents is concerned, I would advice you may be patient and 'percevierent'  and give them ample time to 'give in' to your wishes.
 
This is my advice - maybe off trend, but still this is what I think!
 
 


Edited by Nausheen - 01 November 2010 at 1:45am]]> Mon, 01 Nov 2010 01:43:56 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147687#147687 Marrying a divorced woman : I think its silly to disown your... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147437#147437 Author: Gibbs
Subject: 17478
Posted: 24 October 2010 at 11:28am

I think its silly to disown your kid because they are making an adult decision. A couple things to consider:

1) If she is a divorced, becareful, not because she is divorced but there may be some hidden issues.

2) Although your parents want you to be with someone who has maintained their virginity, these days young girls are engaging in sexual activity outside marriage however whether they are a virgin or not is not important but whether they are a compatible mate for you.

3) If you still live at home and are about to make a decision that your parents dislike this may affect your living situaton.

Edited by Gibbs - 24 October 2010 at 11:28am]]> Sun, 24 Oct 2010 11:28:04 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147437#147437 Marrying a divorced woman : http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147421#147421 Author: Chrysalis
Subject: 17478
Posted: 24 October 2010 at 1:33am

]]> Sun, 24 Oct 2010 01:33:54 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=147421#147421 Marrying a divorced woman : If you want my very personal opinion,... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146930#146930 Author: The absurd one
Subject: 17478
Posted: 07 October 2010 at 11:57am

If you want my very personal opinion, I'd like first to know how old she is. If she is, like you, 24 and was already married and divorced I'd say careful, you may be surprised by what you'll get yourself in.]]> Thu, 07 Oct 2010 11:57:23 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146930#146930 Marrying a divorced woman : Salam Brother, Abu aisha is... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146658#146658 Author: fais
Subject: 17478
Posted: 27 September 2010 at 12:52am

Salam Brother,
 
Abu aisha is right,you should not marry her cause u want to do some charity,you should marry her for what she is,remember the supreme model Mohammed s.a.w,he married khadija a widow 2 times, 15 years older to him,and many other wives of profet were widow or divorced.
 
Islam is very paractical in life and does not care for such things like virginity as far as it is within the islamic Law.yes verginity lost out of wedd lock is big issue and hard for any muslim man to accept.
 
so do istekhara if you adamant to marry and try to convince your parents for this.
 
Regards
Faisal
 
 
]]> Mon, 27 Sep 2010 00:52:29 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146658#146658 Marrying a divorced woman : The girl got divorced after a... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146564#146564 Author: complicated
Subject: 17478
Posted: 23 September 2010 at 12:17pm

The girl got divorced after a year because her ex husband promised he would send her to school, before they got married then after they got married he didnt, among other things, she was married at 16 for a year. in my opinion thats way too young.
And you are right, my parents are just concerned, but i am in no way just trying to "win". I listen to my parents in everything alhamdullilah. but sometimes parents are wrong. like telling I cant take this girl for the simple fact that she was married before. I am in no way better than the prophet and he lived his life as complete as possible and it is sunnah to follow what he did. that doesnt mean we have to do exactly what he did but if a chance comes that you can, you should.
]]> Thu, 23 Sep 2010 12:17:37 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146564#146564 Marrying a divorced woman : Your folks can not be"wrong"... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146561#146561 Author: abuayisha
Subject: 17478
Posted: 23 September 2010 at 8:20am

Your folks can not be "wrong" because they are only advising their son, which is not only their right, but duty.  You are well advised to listen carefully to their concerns and not seek to "win" or be right.  I personally fear that if taking this girl you do not feel you have done her a "favor" and when troubles begin, as natural in any and all marriages, you then feel I should have listened to my parents and treat her badly.  Are you confident you can adjust to an experienced woman?  How long was she married before?  Are cultural and educational backgrounds similar?  Why is she now divorced?  ]]> Thu, 23 Sep 2010 08:20:14 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146561#146561 Marrying a divorced woman : Salam This is not the first girl... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146560#146560 Author: complicated
Subject: 17478
Posted: 23 September 2010 at 7:43am

Salam
This is not the first girl I was shown or looked at. my parents showed me over 30 muslim girls and I really think this is the one. and I totally agree with you. after marriage a husbands eyes should close.
My parents will probably disown me if I go after this girl. I told them I am not better than the prophet PBUH so there is no problem with me marrying a widow. and shes very young, 20 years old. I need to convince them I guess.
salam]]> Thu, 23 Sep 2010 07:43:27 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146560#146560 Marrying a divorced woman : Assalamu alaikum, There is... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146553#146553 Author: semar
Subject: 17478
Posted: 22 September 2010 at 9:23pm

Assalamu alaikum,
 
There is nothing wrong marry to a widow. Prophet Muhammad pbuh did it. He was also a virgin too, and Khadijah was a widow. However. don't be hurry, if this is the first girl you come a cross wait a little bit and look around again who knows you find some other candidates. Because this is the time to open your eyes look around, after you marriage you should "close" your eyes. Not the other way around.
]]> Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:23:55 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146553#146553 Marrying a divorced woman : Asalamu ailaikum to everyone here.I... http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146551#146551 Author: complicated
Subject: 17478
Posted: 22 September 2010 at 8:16pm

Asalamu ailaikum to everyone here.

I am a 24 year old muslim virgin and proud of it. I recently told my parents to start looking for a wife for me. One of my friends recommended a very great girl the only "problem" was that she was married once before and it didint work out.
I told my parents about this girl and they FREAKED out saying you deserve better than that, you are a virgin and you should get the same. I know they are only scared of what people will say if I do marry this girl. I told them islamicly there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying this girl.
I need some help, evidence from quran, hadith, sunnah to prove to my parents that what they are saying is wrong.
Thank you
Asalamualaikum
]]> Wed, 22 Sep 2010 20:16:05 +0000 http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17478&PID=146551#146551