Boy meets (or goes out with) a girl

Q75 :I have tried to find a ruling in the Qur'an or the Hadiths on a man going out with a woman, but I could find none. Since it is only natural to be attracted to the opposite sex, it seems to me that such a meeting, or going out, is permissible. If you disagree, how could you justify your ruling, when it is Allah who has made this mutual attraction part of our nature?


A75 : It is true that Allah has placed this attraction in our nature. Otherwise, humankind would not have been preserved. Allah, however, wants us to satisfy our natural desire in a clean, legitimate way. Therefore, He regulated the relationship between the two sexes on the basis of marriage. This applies to every natural desire common to all mankind. We need to eat in order to live and there is a natural desire to eat which is common to all people. Unlike animals, which satisfy their hunger in a mechanical, instinctive way, man has refined his approach to food so as to make it part of human civilization. It is natural for men to enjoy tasty food. If you are walking along a country road and you see a fruit tree, heavy with ripe, tasty fruit, you are not allowed to pick one and eat it without the permission of the owner. Yet, if you do, you are only satisfying a natural desire which is closely related to your existence. As you know, without food we cannot live more than a few days. All human beings agree that only goods obtained in a legitimate manner are permissible to eat. You cannot just take what does not belong to you. You have to buy it or be given it as a present. Otherwise, you commit a sin if you take it away. The same applies to the satisfaction of natural tendencies of establishing a relationship which must be legitimate and the only legitimate relationship in this connection is that of marriage. The fact that the attraction is natural does not mean that we can seek its satisfaction in an unruly or undisciplined manner. Its satisfaction is regulated within the marriage institution. This distinguishes Islamic society by its clean, healthy relationship. It is forbidden in Islam for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his wife, or a very close relative (i.e. one whom he cannot marry), in a room where they cannot be seen. This is not due to any lack of trust in either the man or the woman. It is only meant to strengthen them against any temptation. Abdullah ibn Abbas quotes the Prophet as saying: "Let no one of you be alone with a woman except in the presence of a relative whom she may not marry." (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) Ahmad also relates a Hadith in which the Prophet is quoted to have said: "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must not be alone with a woman without the presence of a close relative of hers which she may not marry. Otherwise, Satan would be the third one with them." This applies even to a relative whom the woman may marry such as her cousin. She must never allow herself to be alone with him where they cannot be seen.


Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah )