Obligations: Of a daughter

Q413 :May I ask about the duties of a daughter towards a mother, who very frequently gets into fits of temper and abuses her for no reason. When this becomes very frequent, it has very depressing effect. One feels one's unimportance very keenly and gets black thoughts.

A413 : Every child, son or daughter, must be obedient, dutiful and kind to his or her parents. Even when a parent is unjustifiably harsh to a child, that child must not exceed the limits of dutifulness towards his parent. He must always treat them with the respect they deserve. Having said that, however, I must add that parents are also expected to treat their children kindly. They should show understanding and recognize that the needs of their children are different from their needs when they were of a similar age. Times differ and so do values, standards and concerns. Sometimes, a parent unnecessarily ill-treats a child. If that does not reach physical abuse, a child should bear that ill-treatment patiently and try to remedy the situation with understanding. It is when respect of a parent becomes difficult, due to the unreasonableness of the latter, that such respect when maintained is highly rewarded by Allah. If a parent easily gets into a fit of temper, the child should avoid causing such a situation. If it nevertheless happens, the child should help cooling it off by showing good manners and not replying to criticism. That does not only help make family life happier; it also earns high reward from Allah.

Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah )