It is often said that people with positive outlook generally see a glass half-full, rather than half-empty. Is it possible that some time having positive outlook may be more appropriately related to seeing the glass as half-empty? Let's see.
In my family here in the US, except myself, all other members are female: my beloved wife and two daughters. Our married life basically begun here as expatriates somewhat untouched by the customs and cultures of our homeland. My two daughters were born and have grown up here in the USA.
When I first came to the US in 1981, as I started attending mosques here, I had a fundamental culture shock. I hope readers would forgive my dramatization. Women's coming to the mosque is generally not what we are exposed to, not only in our own homeland, but in much of the Muslim world. That women and mosques are two mutually-exclusive entities is not an uncommon sentiment. Or, at least, we prefer the mosques to be basically a place for us, the good old (and young too) men. If our generosity is overflowing then we might let those women attend mosques who just can't stay away, but we must make sure that nobody sees them or that they are there. A wall or screen is a must. [Note: There wasn't any at the time of the Prophet.] They may have eyes (indeed, most of those eyes probably are beautiful to see through), but they must benefit from mosque participation from only hearing - they usually can't even see the Imam. At the time of the Prophet, the women could hear AND see him at the prayer.
Well, I have seen some women attending mosques, for example, in Bangladesh. I had a bigger shock after coming to the US, when I observed women coming and attending the Eid prayer as well. What a monstrosity! I came to the US before getting married. Thus, at least I did not have to struggle with the decision about dealing with my beloved, who probably happily would have sent me, one of the good old (I was young, of course) men, to the Eid prayer (the gathering of joy and festivity).
At first I thought it was because of the socially polluting environment of this American society. In our homeland, Eid activities (the religious aspects) are primarily for men. We all would wake up early in the morning (usually drowsy from going to bed late), take a bath, dress up (and Thanks to Allah, not being those - you know those wretched poor! - every Eid we had new outfits, gifts, spending money and so on), and then we the good old men (and boys - the to-be-men) would march in joyous and perfumed spirit toward that place called Eidgah (the open venue for Eid prayers) - our masculine domain. Some of those poor, begging women, who know nothing about our precious Deen (way of life; religion) would be there of course to give us opportunity to show our generosity, but other than that women stayed back home. Ironically, it's not that they don't go out; so many shopping areas they are hitting regularly.
Of course, they were ONLY our beloved wives, mothers, sisters, or daughters. Young females at middle-class homes could have somewhat leisurely life the Eid day. But the adult women, basically most of the day there time is spent immersed in the joy of cooking those most delicious meals, even thoughts of those great items made with their personal touch makes me salivate. During the course of the day they might visit some of their friends or relatives or attend guests, but that's their happy share of the Eid (celebration). Therefore, what is this monstrous deviation here from and pollution of our custom?
Ads by Google:
Advertisements not controlled by IslamiCity
|
Three years after I came to the U.S. I tied my knot with someone who stole my heart some time ago. The next Eid we were part of this monstrosity, and somehow it did not feel bad at all! Due to various other factors, into which I won't delve here, I readjusted the radar of my consciousness and conscience and started re-reading the Quran and the Hadith literature such as Sahih Bukhari (not the pulp literature: Maqsudul Muminin, Easy Salat Lessons, Neyamul Quran etc.). I have read Quran and quite a bit of Hadith literature before coming to the US, but when we have preconceived notions, we often read and receive only what we already have impressed in our minds.
I have read Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim before. But as I now started reading somewhat conscious about gender-related narrations with readjusted antenna of my mind, I had to endure newer shocks. No, that the women were coming to mosques and, particularly, Eid prayer is not a monstrous deviation. They are doing the right thing as Islam inspires and instructs them to do. What we have in the predominant culture of our Muslim society, like in Bangladesh, is mostly, as in this case too, just the opposite of what Islam teaches. What does Islam teach? [emphasis mine]
Sahih Bukhari: Volume 1, Book 6, Number 321:
Narrated Aiyub:
Hafsa said, 'We used to forbid our young women to go out for the two 'Id prayers. A woman came and stayed at the palace of Bani Khalaf and she narrated about her sister whose husband took part in twelve holy battles long with the Prophet and her sister was with her husband in six (out of these twelve). She (the woman's sister) said, "We used to treat the wounded, look after the patients and once I asked the Prophet, 'Is there any harm for any of us to stay at home if she doesn't have a veil (WRONG TRANSLATION: In the Hadith the word is Jilbab meaning outer garment, including head-covering; not veil or face covering. This is translator's unwarranted bias)?' He said, 'She should cover herself with the veil (SHOULD BE "outer garment") of her companion and should participate in the good deeds and in the religious gathering of the Muslims.' When Um 'Atiya came I asked her whether she had heard it from the Prophet. She replied, "Yes. May my father be sacrificed for him (the Prophet)! . . . I have heard the Prophet saying, 'The unmarried young virgins and the mature girl who stay often screened or the young unmarried virgins who often stay screened and the menstruating women should come out and participate in the good deeds as well as the religious gathering of the faithful believers but the menstruating women should keep away from the Musalla (praying place).' " Hafsa asked Um 'Atiya surprisingly, "Do you say the menstruating women?" She replied, "Doesn't a menstruating woman attend 'Arafat (Hajj) and such and such (other deeds)?"
Pages :
1 |
2 
