INTRODUCTION
In America there are many special days set
aside to honor and appreciate special people. Some of these are: Father's Day,
Mother's Day, Grandfather's Day, Grandmother's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day,
etc. We do realize the significance of these occasions and we recognize the
ideas, ideals, and philosophies of such days. We appreciate the efforts of those
who initiated these occasions for the recognition and appreciation of special
people.
As for the appreciation of parents, we admire
the efforts of children who remember their parents on such occasions by sending
them greeting cards and gifts. However, we hope that the appreciation is not for
one single day in a year, but for every day throughout the year.
PARENTS IN QURAN
A child should respect and appreciate his or
her parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked human beings to
recognize their parents after recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran,
we notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation and with respect, even if
they are senile. In Surah Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there is a very
beautiful description of how parents are to be treated. Allah 
says:
"Your Lord had decreed, that you
worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them
or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Fie" unto them nor
repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing
of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they
did care for me when I was young." [Quran
17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is
mentioned in the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children
to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their
parents. In the following verse, Allah demands that children recognize their
parents:
"We have enjoined on humankind kindness
to parents." [Quran
29:8 and 46:15]
1. The demand for recognizing
parents is made more emphaticly when Allah says in the Quran:
"And (remember) when We made a covenant
with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be
good to parents..." [Quran
2:83]
2. In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The
Women) Allah
emphasizes again that children should be kind to their parents.
"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as
partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents... " [Quran
4:36]
3. The same directive is
repeated again In Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle), where Allah
says:
"Say: Come, I will recite unto you that
which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as
partner unto Him and that you do good to parents..." [Quran
6:151]
MOTHERS
Although Islam has clear directives to honor
and respect both parents, mothers are given particular gratitude and respect.
This attitude of Islam is understood if we realize the hardships and the
suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this regard, Prophet
Muhammad 
said:
It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a
man came to the Prophet
and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my friendship?' The Prophet
answered:
Your mother, your mother, your mother, then
your father, then the one closest to your kinship, and the one after.
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their
children even if the parents are non-Muslims. Only if parents coerce their
children against Islam, then the children have the right not to obey their
parents, but they are still to be good to them. In this regard, Allah
says in Surah Luqman:
"And We have enjoined upon man
concerning his parents--his mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and
his weaning is in two years--Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me
is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as
partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with
them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him who repents unto Me. Then
unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.--" [Quran
31:14-15]
MORE RESPECT
Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes
immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad
(struggle and striving in the way of Allah). In this respect, the Prophet
said the following:
Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin
Massoud (May Allah be pleased with him) saying: I asked the Prophet ,
"which deed is more liked by Allah?" He replied, "Prayers
on time." Then I asked, "Which one is next?" He said, "Goodness
to parents." Then I asked, "Then which one is next?"
He said, "Jihad in the way of Allah." (Agreed)
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that
the child and his wealth are considered to be the property of the parents. In
this regard, the Prophet
said:
Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the
Prophet
to resolve his dispute with his father regarding a loan given to the father. The
Prophet
said to the person, "You and your wealth are to your father."
FINAL REMARKS
We hope and we pray that all of us will respect
our parents while they are alive and even after they pass-away. You may honor
your parents after they die through the following methods:
- Make daily Du'a
(prayer) for them
- Give a charity on their behalf
- Institute a perpetual charity on their
behalf - such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic
Library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen's home,
etc.
- Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone
to do so.
- Read Quran on their behalf
- Distribute
Islamic Literature on their behalf
Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best
to respect our parents, to honor them, to be kind to them, to help them, and to
please them for the love of Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us
obedient servants to you.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to
our parents. Ameen.
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